For many years, I have been living with a challenge which affects my day-to-day life.
It’s something that we all take for granted. And it’s also something that is almost invisible to everyone else.
I have a hearing problem, so obviously I don’t hear as well as the average person.
And I tell you, I bloody hate it.
—
“What Part of Your Body Would You Change?”
I remember a close friend of mine and I were talking about the human body, and it led to a conversation about how people wish they can change something about their body.
Them: “I’d like smaller thighs.”
Them: “I don’t like my butt.”
Them: “I want bigger lips.”
Then it’s my turn.
Me: “I want to change my ears.”
Them: “Why? Because you don’t like how it looks?”
Me: “No, because I want to hear like other people around me.”
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The Backstory Before I Let Go
Ever since I was a baby, I have been hard of hearing.
As I grew up, boy was I stubborn.
I’m still stubborn, and there is an element of denial that I have this disability.
But who am I kidding?
I’m stuck with this forever.
And it might get worse, which is something that terrifies me.
The number of doctors appointments, hearing aids to try, hearing tests and the hospital stays were not my biggest pain.
It’s the feeling of isolation from the rest of the world.
The feeling of anxiety when I am surrounded by a group of people.
The feeling of fear that I may have people talking to me.
Which is ironic, because I like being around people and talking to them.
So it’s a real catch-22 situation.
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The ‘Let Go’ Video Contest
During August 2017, a major influence in my life, Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income, put together a contest to celebrate the launch of his new extended edition of ‘Let Go’.
The challenge was to create a 3-minute ‘Let Go’ video, much like he did in his early days when he was made redundant as an architect before he eventually started his now successful business.
In your own video, you were to talk about the challenges that you had in your life and the process of letting go so that you can move forward in life.
I’ve been thinking about starting and creating YouTube videos on a consistent basis anyway…
…but this was a whole new challenge.
I don’t know what it is, but there was something inside me that said I also need to move forward and let go of the anxieties and fears that come with having a disability.
So I decided to combine the two by creating and publishing my first public video on YouTube on letting go:
What Have I Learnt from Letting Go?
I still get anxious.
I still get frustrated.
I still feel the pressure to try to accept it from time to time.
And from all of that, I still get emotional about it.
But I found that letting go and embracing it is key.
The key is to make sure you control the situation, rather than let the situation control you.
My way of doing that is to go at it head-on and face my fears directly by:
- doing podcasts and talking to inspiring people around the world
- going to conferences and speaking at events
- holding training sessions for clients and at events
- volunteering at a deaf charity to help others to make use of modern technology to make their lives easier
And now, I have also let go by writing this blog post and creating the video above.
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The Result of Letting Go
Long story short, Pat Flynn himself has picked my video as one of his favourites.
@IamAhmedKhalifa @LukeBenThomas @TheTutorCoach All 3 of you won the Let Go contest! You’ll be getting an email from me soon. 🎉🙌🏻😀
— Pat Flynn (@PatFlynn) August 27, 2017
Which means that I get the prize of spending a day with a major inspiration of my life in his home city of San Diego.
And to say that I was excited is an understatement.
And the fact that it was my first public YouTube video (don’t forget to subscribe), made it even more of a challenge.
*UPDATE – Below is the video of my day with Pat:
There is more to it than just that and there is a real message behind the video.
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The Real Message of Letting Go
There is something about challenging your fears which empowers you to do something about it.
Watching it and letting it settle will drag you down.
That was my mistake.
But shaking off the shackles of fear will give you that freedom and remove the weight from your shoulders.
There is an element of guilt in that I should not ever complain because it’s not as serious as other people.
There are always bigger and more serious issues that are happening around us.
And that was another reason for me to keep quiet.
But why should we do that?
Why can we not let it out of our system and actually use it for good?
Like a superhero using their superpowers for positive use.
That’s my plan anyway.
—
My Personal Note to You
If you have ever met me and you don’t know what to do but still want to make it easier for me, I appreciate it, but don’t stress about it too much.
Just be aware of the following areas:
- I’m not completely deaf
- It’s more difficult for me to hear certain things or words depending on the tone, volume and environment
- Sometimes I wear hearing aids, sometimes I don’t – I’m just stubborn like that
- I may mishear a few words or even an entire sentence
- I may talk about something random so that I can cover the fact I didn’t hear what you said
- I may decide to sit still, be quiet and soak in the information at a manageable pace
- Noisy environments like a bar, club and even a moving car, is a challenge for me – bear with me on that
- Don’t be fooled though – I would love to talk and laugh with you
—
Everyone has their own demons in their lives, irrespective of how small or large it is.
But it’s about what are you going about it, how are you going to deal with it and not allowing it to hold you back in life.
And that’s why I’ve got a challenge for you.
Have you got something that is holding you back in life? If you do, what are you going to do to let go?
I challenge you to let go.
It’s liberating.
And if this post has helped you to do that, even just the one person, then that is all I want from writing this post.
So I would love to hear your stories below.
Ahmed Khalifa
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This is a wonderful story of courage and dogged determination to rise above adversity and to use it in such a positive way to help others address their demons… I know only too well the difficulties you faced but to come through with such success and to use this to help others is the true inspiration … Such a wonderful story and your accolade, so richly deserved..Well done Ahmed!
What a lovely comment. Thank you Mrs Fetherston for such kind words and for helping me to get through with it too.
Hi Ahmed, this was a really inspiring read. I wasn’t going to comment here originally but you did say you’d love to hear so… I find it hard to determine whether this “holds me back” but I worry it affects other people’s impression of me when they meet me IRL/when I’m in a meeting/doing an interview/any kind of first impression. I have trichtillomania, which is a mental disorder that means I pull my hair out. It manifests differently for a lot of people, but for me it’s pulling my hair out (also picking skin) and eating it. It also means I find it hard to keep still for any period of time. I do this unconsciously, and sometimes when I do realise I’m doing it, I can’t stop myself. I’ve been to therapy for it, and it has taught me a few coping mechanisms but it will never go away. I even considered laser hair removal so I wouldn’t have any hair to pull, but in order to recieve that kind of treatment I need to not pull my hair for the entire treatment cycle (6+ weeks x4) and if I could have that level of control I wouldn’t have even thought about it!
It isn’t the hair pulling that bothers me, I’m fortunate enough to not have many body image issues. My concerns come in knowing that someone could meet me for the first time or someone I know might notice I do it and think “that’s disgusting” and see me as a disgusting person. A lot of adults aren’t diagnosed with this disorder as most symptoms disappear after childhood. It’s largely unknown, and I wish I could talk about it more.
I’m an artist, so my dream is to create a series of comics that explain (in a light hearted manner) what my disorder does to me, and the things I do because of it. I worry because people don’t want to see a comic where a person puts hair in their mouth or chews an entire jumper or spends half an hour inspecting their body for spots. Because it’s gross and the subject matter is weird.
This is the thing I’m going to work on letting go of. Other people’s perception shouldn’t bother me, I should create what I want to create.
Maybe I can’t let go just yet, but I’m going to try my hardest,
Thanks for your post, I really appreciate you taking the time to write and record it. Hopefully meet you one day in the future!
Hey Ahmed,
Thanks for having the confidence to share your journey. My best friend is deaf in one ear and has limited hearing in the other so I know the struggles he’s faced and how difficult it must have been for you to challenge your fears and let it go.
Keep on inspiring people and being awesome. You rock!
This is an amazing comment Emma. Thank you for sharing that.
It’s amazing how people are not aware of the real you/us when you are behind the computer screen and almost hiding our disorder/challenges. The difficulty is that it’s not always obvious enough for other people, and when it is, we can get quite nervous about what other people think. I’ve been there many times, so I can relate.
At the same time, I always wonder what would happen if we didn’t have them. I wouldn’t have written this post, had the opportunity create a video and also meeting Pat Flynn. And you wouldn’t have had the inspiration to create those comics.
I really appreciate you sharing that story, and hope it provides some sort of relief that it’s out there. You’ve done the hard bit of sharing your story and using your artistic talent. The next step is onwards and upwards.
Thank you for your kind comment Anne 🙂
It’s not always obvious and it can be stressful to deal with, which you can understand. But I hope it doesn’t stop your friend from living his life.
Ahmed, thank you so much for taking the brave step to share your story with us.
Your story is truly inspirational and I am sure it will encourage many other people with disabilities to speak out about the challanges they face on a daily basis. I think Video & Multi Media is such a great way of encouraging people to share their own stories and raise awareness.
Well done & keep up the fantastic work!
Laura
Thank you Laura for your comment. Much appreciated 🙂
As you have said, if it helps and encourages other people to speak about their own challenges, then that would make me really happy. We all face challenges in different ways, and I’m not just talking disabilities either. It could apply to anyone.
But I have learnt the hard way that hiding it and keeping quiet is not always the best solution. Creating this post and video was great fun and a great relief. Other people can do it their own creative ways.
Thanks again Laura.